Could We Really Have a Zombie Apocalypse?
Short Answer: Yes.
Long Answer: Oh, for heaven’s sake, imagine the queues.
Let’s be honest. For decades we’ve been warned about zombies staggering out of graveyards, supermarkets and the occasional discount DIY store, all snarling for brains. But what if the reality is far less dramatic and infinitely more annoying?
Before we get to that, let’s look at how likely a zombie apocalypse actually is. You might be surprised.
1. Science Absolutely Has the Range to Ruin Our Week
You know the drill. Somewhere in a secret lab in China, Nebraska, or a warehouse in Birmingham mysteriously labelled “Research: Do Not Open”, bored scientists are tinkering with bio-tech because someone funded them and no one thought to ask if they were alright.
One poorly supervised experiment, one intern pressing the wrong button, and suddenly Janet from HR is licking the windows and trying to eat a stapler.
Entirely plausible.
Then there’s the permafrost. That great frozen library of ancient viruses we definitely did not ask to borrow. It has been defrosting like an unpleasant lasagne at the back of the fridge, releasing things no one has names for yet. If the ice reveals something with a fondness for human neurology, well… good luck out there.
And let’s not forget meteorites. We’ve all seen the films. Space rocks crash down, glow suspiciously, and by teatime someone is staggering around the village green insisting they feel “a bit odd”.
If it is not zombies, it will be something equally antisocial.
2. But What If the Zombies Aren’t Dangerous… Just Infuriating?
This is where it gets fun. Forget the cinematic flesh-eaters. Suppose that instead of snapping at passers-by, 90% of humanity becomes as mindless as someone waiting for the microwave to ding.
No violence. No chaos. Just... people. People who are technically alive, technically harmless, and technically everywhere you do not want them to be.
Picture this future:
Shops:
You cannot reach your own driveway because six zombies are staring at a hedge. One of them might be humming. Hard to tell. Your shopping list is irrelevant now. Unless it includes “shooing stick”.
Hospitals:
Every bed is free. It is a miracle. But the corridors look like a budget version of Glastonbury — bodies flopped in all directions, blocking absolutely everything. If you break a toe, you’ll need sherpas.
Restaurants:
Fancy a nice meal? Forget it. Zombies will stand around your table, silently watching you chew like you’re the week’s entertainment. Very off-putting when you’re trying to enjoy a steak.
Pubs:
Your Wednesday pub quiz is cancelled forever. You cannot get inside. The zombies have gathered because someone dropped a packet of crisps three days ago and they’ve not moved since.
Public Transport:
Buses will technically still run, but there will be thirty zombies on board who cannot remember how to sit down. The driver will give up before you do.
3. So… Should We Worry?
Possibly.
But also… probably not.
If we ever do face a Zombie Apocalypse, the odds are it will be less “end of civilisation” and more “mild societal blockage”. Annoying, yes. World-ending, no.
It will be like living in a city permanently hosting a marathon.
Scientists will eventually work out a cure — perhaps by rebooting the zombies with a nice cup of tea. In the meantime, life will simply involve a lot more sidestepping, nudging, and gently moving strangers out of your garden.
4. How Would Governments Handle This
Assuming a percentage of the population survives, we will surely have an influx of claims for Social Security payments. That means government pen pushers will have a field day when doing a census.
5. On the Bright Side
You will never again be the most confused person in the supermarket.
Copyright © Tom Kane November 2025
If you want an alternative to a Zombie story, try one of mine... https://historical-fiction-novels.com/books
Although I must admit, there is one book of mine that has a Nazi Zombie in it - https://historical-fiction-novels.com/books/the-ragged-edge-of-time