Snot in the City: Istanbul’s Slimy Summer Saga

July 21, 2025

Ah, summer in Istanbul, where the Bosphorus glistens, the call to prayer echoes across minarets, and an enormous blob of mucus slowly strangles the coastline like something out of a low-budget aquatic horror film.

Yes, folks, Istanbul is at war. Not with geopolitical forces or traffic congestion (though those remain undefeated), but with an enemy far gooier and far grosser, sea snot.

Let’s just pause for a moment to appreciate that name. Sea snot. It sounds like a Nickelodeon show rejected for being “a bit much.” But this is no kids’ prank, it’s a massive, mucilaginous menace turning the Marmara Sea into what scientists politely call a “marine mucilage event” and what the rest of us call “ew.”

Formed by a combination of warming waters, pollution, and nature’s apparent desire to make us all deeply uncomfortable, this floating phlegm party is the algal bloom equivalent of your nose running during a first date. And just like that date, no one wants to swim in it afterward.

City authorities are trying everything. Boats scoop it up, scientists monitor it, and somewhere in an office, a desperate intern probably Googled “can you vacuum the sea?” But the blob persists, oozing across the coast like the villain in a B-movie, only it smells like rotting fish and broken dreams.

Marine life? Suffocating. Fishermen? Furious. Tourists? Quietly deleting their kayak selfies. And while Istanbul’s beauty hasn’t dimmed, this summer it comes with a warning, look, but don’t dip.

Meanwhile, conspiracy theorists are surely assembling. Is this nature’s revenge? The result of 5G and fish mating? A leftover prop from a cancelled James Cameron film? Or is it, simply, the ultimate reminder that the Earth is getting warm, and kind of gross about it?

So next time you’re sipping your iced tea and scrolling through travel blogs, spare a thought for Istanbul, the only city in the world currently fighting a war against sea mucus. May the summer sun shine, may the waters clear, and may we never, ever again have to say the phrase: "we're losing the battle against sea snot."

I may not have invented the Steve McQueen 1950s Sci-Fi classic The Blob, but I've done ok with The Ragged Edge of Time, You can read more here.